A Letter from Baby

Dear Mom,

I thought we had an understanding, I thought you had figured it out, feed me first thing in the morning. We had it all set with the crackers on the bedside table. I really enjoyed those buttery flaky Ritz crackers before you even set one toe out of bed. When the crackers ran out I was surprised, and disappointed, that you did not replace them. I let it slide because you have been on vacation and getting up and eating breakfast right away.

Recently, you have been trying things that I do not appreciate, getting up and hopping into the shower! What! Where's my food? You know what I will do when you do not feed me; Morning Sickness! I am sorry about the other morning I know that the toast was in the toaster and you were just trying to be efficient by emptying the dishwasher while you waited, but you were doing something before feeding me so I got angry. I thought it was funny as you stood in the kitchen trying to rationalize with me, "C'mon kid the toast is coming!" Sorry not good enough; morning sickness for you!

I know you were hoping by now the placenta would be feeding me and you would be feeling better, placenta shamenta. I like what you eat much better than the placenta cafe daily special. I am not sure that I like that new cereal that you got at Trader Joe's, but I really like the toast, fruit, and yogurt breakfast.

Always Hungry,

Baby

PS- Tell Dad thanks for making the brownies...did you notice it was the first chocolate thing you have had in a long time that did not result in horrible heartburn? I like brownies just like my Dad.